So, You Want to Start a Business? by EMS

So, You Want to Start a Business? by EMS

So you want to start a business? 
This booklet is written for humorous purposes. Exten-

sive use is made of sarcasm and quite often things peo-

ple cherish are made to look silly. Dreams of wealth, 
fame, and power can fuel ambition, but success can de-

pend on training, hard work, luck, knowing the “right” 
people, and moral flexibility. 
This booklet should provide an overview of the chal-

lenges to making everything from a lemonade stand to a 
multi nation corporation succeed. 
The first thing is to define success. In business most 
people consider money the measure of success. We 
should consider all the ways money can be made. 
1. Earning it as wages from someone else. 
2. Selling something for more than you paid for it. 
3. Renting out as do bankers, landlords, and hookers. 
4. Taking it from the wages of others. 
5. Building something other people want. 
6. Stealing using fraud, theft or force. 
7. Counterfeiting 
8. Inheritance 
9. Marriage 
10. Receiving it as a gift. 

Some businesses are run at a loss as a cover for 
criminal activity such as a flower shop run as a front for 
a bookie joint. 
Most often businesses are intended to make money on 
their own and often are arranged with overlapping meth-

ods. Typical manufacturing would make use of numbers 
4 and 5. 
Most business is done in the market place where goods 
and services are bought and sold. This market can be 
anything from the stock exchange to the yellow pages to 
a farmers market to selling drugs in a school playground. 
Anywhere and anyplace a financial transaction can be 
completed can be considered a market. This explains the 
persistence of Amway distributors and insurance agents. 
While not frequently considered as a business, govern-

ments make their presence known as they are also in the 
market to obtain money, usually using methods 4 and 6. 
However, one can make a case for number 7 if inflation-

ary practices are considered. 
Money attracts scoundrels like manure attracts flies. The 
more of it, the greater the infestation. If there weren’t 
enough difficulties trying to make a business function, 
success often brings the additional problem of trying to 
repel boarders that can come in the guise of “fair 
weather friends”, those who seduce and betray, and even 
a full frontal assault. 

So, You Want to Start a Business? by EMS