Debt free degree by Anthony Oneal

1
THE WRONG WAYS
TO DO COLLEGE
A couple named Jared and Natalie approached me to talk after an event.
They had prepared for years to send their first child, Lucy, off to college.
They had saved some for school and done a lot of the right things
already, but as Lucy neared her senior year of high school, they were
completely overwhelmed by their feelings. They hadn’t anticipated the
emotions they would experience in sending their first child to college.
Parents: sending your kid to college isn’t easy. And pretending it’s not
hard won’t make it any easier. You’ll probably feel a lot of anxiety,
uncertainty, and grief. My parents actually told me later that the college
process was as tough on them as it was on me!
As you work your plan to send your child to college, know that intense
emotions are normal. What you want to guard against is making
decisions based on those emotions. In addition to anxiety, uncertainty,
and grief, the parents I talk to say they feel enormous motivation to help
their student. They are determined to get their child to college. They’re
so excited to help them move out on their own for the first time and to
become independent adults.
But those same parents also share they feel a good dose of guilt. You
know what I mean. It’s those feelings that plague every parent: What if
we could’ve done this? What if we could pay for that? What if we had
started saving earlier? What if . . . ? Now here’s the thing: when guilt
hits you—along with the resolve to help your student succeed no matter
what—it can lead to some pretty bad choices.
Whether you’re experiencing guilt, excitement, or anxiety, we need to
acknowledge those intense emotions because that’s exactly when those
financially damaging decisions can start to sound logical, smart even.
I’ve witnessed well-meaning parents take out second mortgages, borrow
from retirement, and opt for ridiculous loans because they were reactive
and uninformed. Those decisions hurt the whole family for years.
Now, we’re going to cover how to pay for college without debt in
Chapter 2, but first we need to talk about the wrong ways to get your kid
to college. In my experience, the most stressful part of the college
conversation for parents and for students is always: “How will we pay
for this?” It’s usually the first question that comes to mind when college
talk gets real. I know this from personal experience. I still remember how
the stress levels in my house skyrocketed when I discovered the tuition
rates for my college options. And it’s only gotten more expensive since
then. So let’s begin with looking at the consequences of doing it the
wrong way: I’ll tell you how I did it.
MY BIG COLLEGE MISTAKES
During my senior year of high school, my parents and I wrestled with the
financial aspects of me going to college. Like I said earlier, I was the
first child in our family to go to college, and the truth is that they—like
so many parents—weren’t really in a position to help me out as much as
they would have liked. To be honest, no matter how disciplined you’ve
been with money, unless you’ve planned for a very long time, it’s going
to be tough for any parent to pay for the full cost of a college education.

Debt free degree by Anthony Oneal