Relationships with money are one of the areas of life that is strongly charged with projections. We place our hopes, fears, ideas about ourselves and the world in this area. When a client comes to a psychotherapist with a request to fix something in the field of finances, it often turns out that the problem with money is a symptom. It points to a deeper personal or systemic dynamic for which a person unconsciously tries to find a solution through money.

The study of desires and fears that are associated with money leads to the themes of security, self-esteem, power, visibility, recognition, dignity, love. When the therapist asks the client in detail what is important in the request "I want more money", it may be revealed "I don't want anyone to touch me anymore", "I want to save my mother" or "I want to finally be recognized". Nothing in this list of examples is a financial problem, and money can only partially help with the solution.

The deep requests that are found in therapeutic work with financial problems are something that once arose in the relationship between a person and the world around him. Feelings of security, love, and dignity are nurtured and destroyed by other people and environments. And it can be restored after destruction and strengthened in relationships with other people and the environment.

And what about money? Does therapy still work for the financial sphere and can a psychotherapist help to establish a relationship with money? There are dynamics that can really make a difference in therapy. To understand how it works, it is worth understanding what money actually is.

Money as we know it today is something endowed with a symbolic value. In itself, a piece of paper with paint or a round piece of metal is worth nothing: their value is due to the existing agreements in the world. Money has ceased to be something material, although it can be exchanged for material goods, and has become an immaterial force that has its own characteristics and its own character.

Money is movement and energy. And no, this is not about an esoteric view of the world. A good financial consultant will confirm that the growth of money is possible only if there is movement. Earning, spending, investing, and reinvesting are all actions that move money flow. Movement is weakened or stopped where there is too much control and a desire to keep everything in eternal stability. This is generally characteristic of people from the post-Soviet space, who carry a personal and family memory that change and movement can be traumatic, violent and can destroy life: revolutions, wars, large-scale changes in the economy, which include the seizure of property. Thus, in place of a healthy need for stability and subjective control, which do not block the movement of change, hyper-control and rigidity arise.
Money is an opportunity to get more resources. The eternal questions of "where to get time" and "where to get strength" can be at least partially solved by money: hire help around the house, use a taxi instead of a bus, go on a quality vacation or a good sanatorium – all this frees up time and energy. It sounds good, but in fact, there are serious reasons why a person may avoid it. It happens that it is not profitable for a person to have a lot of resources, because he knows well inside himself that there will definitely be someone who will immediately "devour" this resource. For example, a person supports a large family, and if he starts earning more, the demands of loved ones will increase even more. Then constantly exhausting yourself and being exhausted becomes, oddly enough, a way to save yourself, and the ease, resourcefulness and pleasure that money gives is felt as a danger.
Money is an opportunity to be visible. First, a person covers the basic needs necessary for survival. Then, with the help of money, he can reach a fundamentally different level of personal opportunities. And finally, he can create and implement something for others. Starting a company and hiring staff, investing in a startup, supporting charitable projects are all ways to create new connections with more people. And at the same time, it becomes more visible. When an appearance is felt as something dangerous, a person will unconsciously avoid it. In particular, through the avoidance of financial growth, which makes it possible to manifest itself more fully. As with change, people born and raised in the post-Soviet space carry a systemic memory that being visible can be deadly. Families with stories of dekulakization, dispossession, imprisonment and exile, forced relocation due to the appearance of the state or an envious neighbor, from generation to generation keep an unconscious memory of this danger.
Money is the most transparent and clear way to settle an exchange. When a good or service is exchanged for a fair amount, it minimizes the so-called shadow exchange: a way to "get" something important for oneself not through money. For example, to receive a review in addition, and with it the energy and trust of other people, or great gratitude, and with it a sense of self-importance. If the cost of a good or service rises to its true material price, a person may lose the usual way of getting what he needs. Sometimes, in order to increase income, it is enough to "just" start regulating the balance between what is given and taken in return, only money. And look for other opportunities to get what used to be an "appendage" to the payment.
Money is something that adults have. Children are always financially dependent on adults, and children's money is, as a rule, small amounts in the form of pocket money and "bonuses". People in whom the child part dominates, and the adult remains undeveloped or traumatized, may experience money and handle it infantilely. For example, not to feel and not even believe that they have the ability to manage finances, because money is something that someone gives or takes at their own discretion, and, therefore, control is always in someone else's hands.
Another manifestation can be the opposite: confidence in one hundred percent control over finances almost by the power of thought. Attempts to solve all money issues only through "establishing financial thinking" and "working through negative attitudes" are a manifestation of the so-called childish omnipotence. This is one of the psychic defenses that arise in children in response to the high instability of the world, a sense of helplessness and the lack of ability to influence the chaotic surrounding reality. An adult with a passport can live in the financial scenario of a child and either refuse any responsibility for his material well-being, or, on the contrary, attribute unrealistic responsibility to himself.

The first thing psychotherapy can do is to make hidden unconscious dynamics clear. To help a person see what patterns exist in the relationship with money – most likely, the same patterns are manifested in other areas of life. Working with them will change something in the field of finance. At the very least, it will bring more clarity and stability – and this is already a lot.