Spending money on yourself without regrets, anxiety and guilt is an art that is not inherent in everyone. And interestingly, the dependence on the level of income is practically not traced here. That is, a person may not spend money on himself not because it is the last money, but only because he experiences various negative feelings and tries to avoid them. And vice versa, there are people who, even in a pre-bankruptcy state, are able to squander all their savings on themselves, without experiencing negative emotions at all, but receiving deplorable financial results.

Why spend money on yourself
Every adult, in addition to rights, acquires many responsibilities, including financial ones. We have to pay taxes, bear utility bills, spend money on education, clothes for ourselves and our children, pay mortgage and loan payments, sometimes we need help for our parents.

When the level of mandatory (in a person's opinion) expenses is equal to or greater than income, it is extremely difficult to spend money on yourself with pleasure. In this case, it is more correct to focus on the formation of competent financial behavior: plan a budget, revise spending, choose good financial instruments for refinancing debts, and increase income.

However, even in such cases, spending money on yourself is a necessary condition for a comfortable psychological state. Postponing life for later is the wrong tactic. When it comes to life, money, and plans, the key idea is the golden mean and the balance between greed and extravagance. Money is a tool for satisfying human needs, it has no value in itself.

Why it can be scary to spend money on yourself
Speaking of fear, we mean the whole range of feelings associated with spending on yourself: guilt, anxiety, regret, shame. And all these feelings are associated with psychological reasons. Not always, but often such reasons come from childhood. And sometimes not even from their childhood, but inherited family programs of thrift and even miserliness.

A person can subconsciously "push" his needs, considering them insignificant, but with pleasure spend money on others. To believe that you need to deserve pleasure, which he has not yet done. This also comes from childhood and is associated with upbringing.

Many people who understand the negative emotions about spending money plan to visit a psychologist and work through "childhood" traumas with a specialist. What a pity that many of them end up on plans, since spending on a psychologist is as difficult for them as on their own pleasures. In these cases, a competent specialist is really able to help. But it does not have to be a psychologist. You can also help yourself reformat your relationship with money on your own.

Interesting! A strong fear of spending has a name - chromotophobia. It manifests itself in different ways: someone constantly counts money, some even avoid talking about money. But this state differs from healthy thrift in that this fear is irrational, that is, it does not carry any reason to be completely without money. This condition is diagnosed by a psychotherapist, and it is better to treat it under the supervision of a specialist.

How to learn to spend money on yourself
Whatever the reason for negative emotions before spending money on yourself and your needs, there are ways to help yourself, unless, of course, we are talking about a pathology – chrometaphobia (in this case, it is better to consult a specialist).

The first step in dealing with fears is to become aware of them. Think about the reasons behind the fears. Try to recognize these reasons and let them go.

Then (or at the same time) you should start financial planning: understand your expenses and income, and draw a balance. From the spending, you can notice interesting trends. For example, that children's entertainment can be reduced, and the saved money can be spent on yourself. Or that there are no objective reasons to remain on the verge of financial ruin from pleasure for yourself. A sober assessment of the financial burden will allow you to determine the size of the reserve for yourself, even if there are both impulsive and planned purchases.

Next comes the recommendation to make a list of small joys and pleasures: a movie once a week, a massage session, a good book, a meeting in a café with a friend. Praise yourself every time you fulfill a wish from the list. Gradually, you can move on to "bigger" desires. At the same time, in each spending, try to realize the inner feeling, whether there were pleasant experiences, an improvement in mood.

And a little shock therapy, if you are not afraid. Imagine your 90th anniversary. Thoughts about wasted time greatly release the fear of spending money on yourself. In this state, it is important to "catch" your values: what you will remember, what events, desires, pleasures, and where you are now in order to fulfill these desires.

Changing your attitude towards yourself is the most important part of relationship therapy with money. You absolutely deserve your own attention, care, pleasure and comfort. Life is finite, and only we ourselves are able to color this path. Loved ones will only be happy to see a happy and self-caring person next to you. Say warm words to yourself, surround yourself with positive people, plan and spend money on yourself with pleasure.