In this article, we will talk mainly about the so-called peer support groups, in which participation, organization, responsibility and support are provided on the principle of "peer equal" - without a guest psychologist or facilitator, when the process is alternately facilitated by one of the participants and participants of the group. In these groups, all decisions are made by the members of the group, and the group members are responsible for organizing the group. This is their main difference from therapeutic groups, where the responsibility for conducting and organizing lies with the helping practitioners or psychologists. Participation takes place on a voluntary volunteer basis.

What, in the most general terms, is a support group?

Support groups / self-help groups are thematic voluntary and self-organized meetings designed to combine collective experience, psychological adaptation skills (how best to cope with this life and its adversities and difficulties?), ideas, knowledge of group members and participants. That is, a certain number of people united by a common experience / identity, who gather at a strictly specified time for several hours with a certain periodicity (once a week, in two weeks or per month) and, interacting according to pre-agreed rules and principles, share personal stories and those difficulties that they face in connection with their experience or identity. In such a space, there is an opportunity to support each other, as well as to ask for and receive support for yourself.

Most often, people are united in self-help groups on the basis of having similar life experiences, identity characteristics and difficulties associated with them. Support groups can be aimed directly at supporting and socializing participants and participants; to provide information and raise awareness about the problem; advocacy of rights and empathy of a particular group; or all of the above listed together. It is important that all participants and members of the support group have similar experiences in the context of the topic of the group (i.e. the format of the group, in which the support group for people with RPP is led by a person who has never experienced RPP, is theoretically possible in the format of a therapeutic group, for example, but this still creates a difference in experience, and therefore can contribute to misunderstanding – and the inability to express certain feelings, for example, anger and frustration on the part of participants and participants with RPP experience towards people without RPP who support a fatphobic culture).

What can a support group do?

What is the "magic" of support groups? The space of the group allows people not to feel alone and isolated; communicate and socialize; Be accepted and supported, and help the rest of the group. Share information and knowledge and hear the real experiences of others who face the same challenges. the opportunity to develop mindfulness, empathize, and learn to give quality emotional feedback that can be truly healing. In addition, the diversity of human stories often allows us to rethink and look at our life history in a different way; explore yourself in contact with other people, in relationships with yourself; and to find the necessary strength, support, and resources to move on in our "real" lives more fully, more joyfully, more happily – contrary to the difficult experiences we have.

What can't a support group give?

It is also important to understand the real limitations of working in such a group format – despite the fact that support groups have a powerful supporting effect, they are inferior in depth to internal work and do not give the effect of group and personal psychotherapy. Unfortunately, the support group also cannot help in getting rid of specific diseases or making an accurate diagnosis, as well as in achieving the effect of drug treatment and pharmacotherapy - for this it is necessary to seek the help of qualified medical specialists. Also, a visit to a support group cannot guarantee that you will receive a universal recipe or instructions on how to live, but you will definitely significantly expand your knowledge of how other people cope with certain difficulties, and you will certainly be able to adapt this to your situation.

Why do support groups work?

• Collective responsibility and equal rights for all participants.
• Systematic meetings. The group acts as a stable figure and a point of preservation in the lives of participants and participants. I know that whatever happens, in a week I will be able to come to the group and get support, it gives me the resource to cope with the pain/difficulties/despair/loneliness.
• The rules and principles of work, the rules of meetings are a certain canvas according to which participants and participants interact and meetings are held.
• All participants and participants try to maintain a balance of taking / giving support.
• We learn to formulate and ask ourselves questions: What is happening to me? How am I feeling? What kind of support would I want from others? – and find honest answers to them. In this case, we understand what exactly we need and what we can ask of the group.
• Participants and participants try to give each other high-quality feedback.

At this stage, you can look into the checklist and answer the first three questions: what meaning-forming topic will unite the group and who will act as participants and participants (for example, a support group for activists experiencing burnout); whether the group has a goal and what changes in the lives of the participants will lead to it (for example, participants and participants will understand more about their burnout process, as well as know more about the ways and methods of preventing burnout and rehabilitation; in addition, a safe space will be created in which such experiences can be talked about honestly and openly; a support network for each other will be formed); what is your personal motivation to organize a support group (for example, "I have personal experience of burnout, I create this group including as a space where I can talk about it, but it is also important that other people can find help and support there").

How is responsibility distributed? Who will facilitate the group?

For example, you and a couple of your friends decided that it is important to start a group, you have already decided on the format, found a room and invited a sufficient number of participants_ c. It is important to understand what will happen next, and very clearly indicate this for the whole group.

Support groups work precisely at the expense of the equivalent responsibility of the participants in the process. Therefore, it is important that everyone takes part in this. At first (up to 3 meetings, for example), the group can be facilitated by the people who organized it, which means that they have already invested a little more in this matter - but it is important that at the next meetings other participants voluntarily take on these functions.

What does the facilitator do?

• Welcomes participants and participants, reads out a list of rules and principles of the group at the beginning of each meeting (paying special attention to new participants, if any);
• Makes sure that the rules are followed, in case of violation - returns the participants to the rules - gently and carefully;
• Monitors the time of the meeting (20-15 minutes before the end warns the participants_ c; monitors when the group returns from the break);
• Assists participants in formulating a request to the group by gently asking them about it.
• This may also include tasks such as opening and preparing the space (arranging chairs, purchasing tea and coffee, cleaning the space after the group).

Where and how can you find members and members for a group? What will be the format of the group?

The invitation to participate, which clearly describes the format of the group, the goals of the group, the time and place of the event (here, of course, it is necessary to proceed from the issue of security) is distributed online and in places where people with such experiences and identities can potentially come.

The format of the group is set by its goals. It is important to choose the format that best suits your needs. That is, how often you meet, how long the meeting lasts, how long the group will exist and how many participants will be in it (optimal size: from 5 to 13 people). Whether the group will be open or private. In an open format, completely different participants can come to each meeting; it is important to think about who can join and how. In a closed group, its composition is determined in the first few meetings, when new people can join, and after, say, the 3rd meeting, the group closes and continues to work in a closed format. Open groups allow more people to participate in different formats; a closed group allows you to make the space of the group safer, more stable, and therefore contributes to cohesion and allows you to build more trusting relationships between the participants of the group. It is also important to think about whether the group will be free or it will work on the principle of free donation, for what purposes will free donation go?

Separately, you can think about whether the group will be online or offline. It is important to understand that with all the advantages of an online group (no need to get to the meeting place of the group, rent space, relative mobility of the participant), there are also significant limitations in the form of security issues (without seeing people alive, we can very often read their non-verbal manifestations differently and mistakenly interpret them). In my opinion, it is great if the group has the opportunity to meet live to meet and contact, and then work online. However, online support is better than no support at all.

For example, a support group for LGBTQ+ people, works throughout the year with summer holidays, meets every two weeks on Saturdays, from 18.00 to 21.00 (with a 15-minute break in the middle), the group is open for the first three meetings, after that the group closes, the maximum number of participants is 10 people; works on the principle of free donation (this money goes to pay for the rental of premises, as well as the purchase of tea and coffee); the group is recruited online, for this it is necessary to fill out a questionnaire online, including to avoid the intersection of contexts and eliminate the possibility of potential conflicts, due to the fact that the community is often small (to solve this question, you can ask the question in the questionnaire: "who would you like to see on the group?").

Or a support group, for activists experiencing burnout; 10 meetings of 2 hours weekly; the group is free of charge; open to all comers throughout the entire cycle of meetings; you can simply arrive at the specified time at the specified address.

Where can I gather and how can I find a room for the group?

To conduct a group, you need a comfortable room - warm, bright enough, clean, well ventilated, isolated from others (impassable), in which there is enough space to seat all participants in a circle so that all participants can see each other. It is important that there is an opportunity to use the sanitary unit, optionally - tea and coffee.

You can search for space through word of mouth and social networks; it is also possible to seek help from libraries, palaces/houses of culture and palaces of children and youth, anti-cafes, cafes, churches, etc.; turn to NGOs and civil initiatives. If you talk about why the existence of such a group is important, you can agree on a reduced rental price, free or barter format (when you do something in return).

What are the rules and principles on which the work of the support group is based?

As mentioned above, the support group works effectively precisely due to its stability (systematic meetings, their limited number, fixed duration), as well as due to pre-agreed rules and principles of work. Here are some basic rules, the list can be supplemented by discussing concerns with all members of the group and reformulating them into rules and principles (for example, at the first few meetings). The list of rules and principles should be written on the flip chart or have in printed form, as it must be read out at the beginning of each meeting of the support group.

For example:

Security. Participants should feel that they can express any of their experiences without the risk of receiving criticism, moralizing, CU, depreciation in response.

Anonymity and confidentiality: No discussions, facts, names should go beyond the group.

Equality. Each member of the group may request support and give support to another member.

Collective responsibility. Time for statements is distributed equally, responsibilities and facilitation are distributed among all.

Non-judgmental and respectful attitude towards each other regardless of religious views, nationality, sexual and / or gender identity, etc.

Communication outside the group. It is necessary to discuss together whether the participants and participants are in contact outside the group and in what format; on the one hand, the ability to receive support and assistance outside the group is important (for example, in the format of an online chat group); on the other hand, face-to-face communication outside the group can also create additional dynamics that will be brought to the group (it is important to understand that it can be conflictual).

Feedback is given at the request of the person sharing their story or difficult situation. It is important that the person himself formulates the form in which he/she/she/they need support: similar experiences of other participants and participants; words of encouragement and emotional responses to a person's story; specific advice on what to do in such a situation; attentive listening and silence (when it is simply important to share something and place it in the group space without feedback from others).

Compliance with the boundaries of the group (duration is fixed).

Prohibition of physical and verbal violence.

Use of mobile phones during the meeting.

Sobriety.

Delay. What do we do late? Can I come 15 minutes before the end of the group? Delays are usually not allowed or a "delay limit" of 10-15 minutes is accepted.

Group Skips How many meetings can I miss? Is it necessary to warn other participants and participants in advance?

Any other points that will make the group space safe for all participants and participants (discussion can be conducted at the first meetings, but add items later if some new rules of interaction are developed during the group).

What should I do at the first support group meeting?

• Get acquainted: names, preferred pronouns; you can hang badges with names; it is necessary to get acquainted later each time a new person appears in the group.
• Discuss the concerns and expectations of the participants from the group.
• Discuss and supplement the rules and principles of the group's work, the functions of the facilitator; reformulate concerns as much as possible into rules and principles.
• Discuss the format of the meetings.
• Tell about how and due to what the support group works: the principle of formulating a request, the principle of feedback.

What happens next?

The group begins its work. Each meeting begins with acquaintance, if new people appear; and by reading out the rules of the group selected for this meeting by the facilitator. After that, the facilitator can ask who came to the group today, wanting to discuss some of his situation; or what excites participants and participants most of all at this period of life. Group time can be used by members and members of the group – someone tells their complex story or a situation that evokes emotions (it is important to remember that success stories, victories and joy can also be shared with the group). It is important that these are not abstract general questions, but very concrete, life situations, directly from the personal experience of the narrators. Next, the facilitator formulates their request with the help of soft leading questions that it would be important for them to receive from other participants and participants (to hear about similar experiences of other participants and participants; words of support and emotional responses to the person's story; specific advice on what to do in such a situation; attentive listening and silence (when it is simply important to share something and place it in the group space without feedback from others). respond to the request of the narrator. After responding, the narrator can thank others and say what was said to them was particularly important. So within the framework of one meeting, several stories can sound one by one. The facilitator makes sure that the rules of the group are followed, and if they are violated, carefully and gently draws the attention of the group members to the list of rules. You can end the meeting with a short circle, when the participants and participants in a couple of words or sentences indicate with what they end the group and with what they leave it (what was important for them?).

What is feedback?

It is important that the feedback matches the request of the person who seeks support and shares their story. There are a few general rules regarding feedback that help make the group process safe and workable:

• do not advise without a request;
• not to evaluate, not to criticize, not to condemn, not to interrupt;
• not to tell personal stories ("but I have...") without asking;
• not to indicate strengths and resources;
• do not compare the experience / history of a person with any norms (positive or negative);
• not to fantasize about the reasons for what is happening to a person ("it's all because...").