Collection of jokes about accountants and programmers

Start the morning with a humorous pause!

  • If something looks simple but works, then it's not easy anymore.

  • A recipe for "working" happiness: point out to the accountant his achievements and your mistakes.

  • To the director's question "How much is two plus two?" the wise accountant answers: "And we will do as much as we need."

  • Murphy's Law for Accountants: If the balance sheet doesn't come together right away, then there is an error in it. As a consequence, if the balance is balanced, there are two mistakes.

  • Wise men and accountants are equally relaxed about money.

  • A good accountant always owes a budget.

  • A good accountant should smell like coffee and a computer!

  • Sometimes a good accountant is expensive, and a bad one is even more expensive.

  • The company is looking for a new accountant, by the way, and an old one too!

  • A deranged accountant doesn't realize it.

  • An accountant is a person who started counting and couldn't stop.

  • No orgasm can compare to the feeling that an accountant feels when his annual balance sheet is aligned.

  • Only the one who has been bitten by another chief accountant can become a chief accountant.

  • The tax police always come to the rescue.

  • Being an accountant is not only about sitting in front of a computer, but also about being a creative person and manipulating reality.

  • A real accountant doesn't eat, but balances nutrients.

  • An accountant on the phone: "You're talking from the point of view of common sense, not the tax code."

  • I'm an accountant, and I don't want to decide anything. I want the reports to be submitted by themselves.

  • Our accountant has perfect hearing. She can even hear the money coming into her checking account.

  • For normal people, the year is divided into seasons, while for accountants, it is divided into quarters.

  • At the time of reporting, the accounting department is the king of the entire company. And the rest of the time is a workhorse.

  • What does it mean to be an accountant when you turn millions, while remaining calm about money?

  • You can't just give out money from the cash register.

  • Our freedom is the ability to choose: either taxes or fines.

  • According to statistics, 10 out of 9 accountants do not know how to count.

  • To fall asleep, the accountant began to count the money in the current account.

  • The director of the Vaseline plant once again eluded the tax authorities.

  • There was such silence in the office that you could hear the salary coming in on the plastic cards.

  • An accountant is a person who knows more about money than those who have it.

  • I need strong emotions. I'll go and read the annual report.

  • Statistics know everything that the accounting department finds necessary to report.

  • For some, vacation and work differ in what computer they work on.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

  • I love weekends... You can get to work quickly and without traffic jams.

  • At the dealership:
    — I would like to buy a car from you.
    "A model?"
    "No, accountant. But thank you for the compliment.

  • In accounting, it is difficult only for the first 5 years. Then you'll either go into a madhouse, or you'll get used to it.

  • Unnerving accounting is bad for your paycheck.

  • Eternity consists of accounting periods.

  • And we have a living paradox in our office – an accountant/system administrator. No one understands him at all.

  • A couple of missed payments and you'll soon realize how much you need it. Plus, you will learn about your qualities, but this is not certain.

  • An announcement on the door of the accounting office: "Lost suitcase with money. At least get your money back!"

  • No matter how much you reduce the accountant's work, he will still submit reports on the last day.

  • There's no joke that the accounting department can't turn into a memo.

  • Don't rush to throw away your old registers and reports! Throw them away slowly, with pleasure...

  • If you think it's bad, take a calculator and recalculate again.

  • The unprecedented thickness of the report protects against the danger of being read.

  • If a person has red eyes, trembling hands, and inadequate speech, it is not necessary that he is a drug addict. Accountants, after a few days of submitting ready-made reports, look exactly the same

  • "Well, how are you doing at work?" "And don't ask. The boss comes up with something and wants us to work for the three of us. It's a good thing there are five of us.

  • A programmer's morning begins not with coffee, but in the evening.

  • Code is a very tricky subject, it may or may not work. The code doesn't work, and we don't know why. The code works, and we don't understand the "why."

  • British scientists have found that people from IT departments have the most developed muscles responsible for shrugging their shoulders.

  • An experienced developer will always look left and right, even if crossing a one-way street.

 

  • In a fairy tale for programmers, piglets are saved in a house made of sticks and everything that comes to hand. At the same time, they repair their hut faster than a wolf breaks it.