Collection of jokes about accountants and programmers

Start the morning with a humorous pause!

• If something looks simple but works, then it's not easy anymore.

• A recipe for "working" happiness: point out to the accountant his achievements and your mistakes.

• To the director's question "How much is two plus two?" the wise accountant answers: "And we will do as much as we need."

• Murphy's Law for Accountants: If the balance sheet doesn't come together right away, then there is an error in it. As a consequence, if the balance is balanced, there are two mistakes.

• Wise men and accountants are equally relaxed about money.

• A good accountant always owes a budget.

• A good accountant should smell like coffee and a computer!

• Sometimes a good accountant is expensive, and a bad one is even more expensive.

• The company is looking for a new accountant, by the way, and an old one too!

• A deranged accountant doesn't realize it.

• An accountant is a person who started counting and couldn't stop.

• No orgasm can compare to the feeling that an accountant feels when his annual balance sheet is aligned.

• Only the one who has been bitten by another chief accountant can become a chief accountant.

• The tax police always come to the rescue.

• Being an accountant is not only about sitting in front of a computer, but also about being a creative person and manipulating reality.

• A real accountant doesn't eat, but balances nutrients.

• An accountant on the phone: "You're talking from the point of view of common sense, not the tax code."

• I'm an accountant, and I don't want to decide anything. I want the reports to be submitted by themselves.

• Our accountant has perfect hearing. She can even hear the money coming into her checking account.

• For normal people, the year is divided into seasons, while for accountants, it is divided into quarters.

• At the time of reporting, the accounting department is the king of the entire company. And the rest of the time is a workhorse.

• What does it mean to be an accountant when you turn millions, while remaining calm about money?

• You can't just give out money from the cash register.

• Our freedom is the ability to choose: either taxes or fines.

• According to statistics, 10 out of 9 accountants do not know how to count.

• To fall asleep, the accountant began to count the money in the current account.

• The director of the Vaseline plant once again eluded the tax authorities.

• There was such silence in the office that you could hear the salary coming in on the plastic cards.

• An accountant is a person who knows more about money than those who have it.

• I need strong emotions. I'll go and read the annual report.

• Statistics know everything that the accounting department finds necessary to report.

• For some, vacation and work differ in what computer they work on.

• I love weekends... You can get to work quickly and without traffic jams.

• At the dealership:
  — I would like to buy a car from you.
  "A model?"
  "No, accountant. But thank you for the compliment.

• In accounting, it is difficult only for the first 5 years. Then you'll either go into a madhouse, or you'll get used to it.

• Unnerving accounting is bad for your paycheck.

• Eternity consists of accounting periods.

• And we have a living paradox in our office – an accountant/system administrator. No one understands him at all.

• A couple of missed payments and you'll soon realize how much you need it. Plus, you will learn about your qualities, but this is not certain.

• An announcement on the door of the accounting office: "Lost suitcase with money. At least get your money back!"

• No matter how much you reduce the accountant's work, he will still submit reports on the last day.

• There's no joke that the accounting department can't turn into a memo.

• Don't rush to throw away your old registers and reports! Throw them away slowly, with pleasure...

• If you think it's bad, take a calculator and recalculate again.

• The unprecedented thickness of the report protects against the danger of being read.

• If a person has red eyes, trembling hands, and inadequate speech, it is not necessary that he is a drug addict. Accountants, after a few days of submitting ready-made reports, look exactly the same

• "Well, how are you doing at work?" "And don't ask. The boss comes up with something and wants us to work for the three of us. It's a good thing there are five of us.

• A programmer's morning begins not with coffee, but in the evening.

• Code is a very tricky subject, it may or may not work. The code doesn't work, and we don't know why. The code works, and we don't understand the "why."

• British scientists have found that people from IT departments have the most developed muscles responsible for shrugging their shoulders.

• An experienced developer will always look left and right, even if crossing a one-way street.

• In a fairy tale for programmers, piglets are saved in a house made of sticks and everything that comes to hand. At the same time, they repair their hut faster than a wolf breaks it.